


Charmless Man

by YayTurnips



Category: Vinesauce (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: I don't know what else, It's pretty sappy, M/M, Riding, Smut, also alcohol is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YayTurnips/pseuds/YayTurnips
Summary: Mike and Vinny have fun bro times that may or may not include fucking





	

**Author's Note:**

> it may be derivative and kind of stupid, but at least i finished it. also i actually did something seriously for once

The door slammed behind Mike and Vinny as they stumbled in, giggling at some stupid joke one of the two had made. Mike immediately made a beeline for Vinny’s fridge, bracing himself with the wall as he did. 

Vinny, who had now made his way to the couch in the center of the apartment, called out, “Yeah sure dude, you can just take whatever you want, thanks for asking.”  


Sarcasm being lost on Mike, he replied, “You’re welcome~” and grunted as he struggled to get a large bottle out of the small fridge.  


Vinny rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t being serious ma- Oh god why are you getting more booze? You’re gonna give yourself alcohol poisoning.”  


“I wasn’t even that drunk. And besides Vin, I’m a grown man, I know how much I can drink.” He said, pulling open the cupboard, looking for a glass, “You want some?”  


“No, Mike, I want to be able to function tomorrow.”  


“Alright, suit yourself.”  


Mike, grabbing the cup as well as the entire bottle, sat down, narrowly avoiding breaking everything in the process.  


“Well, here we are Mike. What did you even want to come over here for, anyway?”  


“I dunno, I assumed we could like, play something or whatever.”  


“That’s not happening. I seriously think my hand-eye coordination is that of a goldfish at this point.”  


Mike paused for a minute to think. “Okaaaay, what about a movie then? We could do something stupid like The Room, or the Star Wars Christmas Special, or…” A grin flashed onto his face. “Oh! We could watch the Bee Mov-”  


“Don’t you fucking dare,” Vinny said, eyeing Mike with mock anger, “Let’s just watch The Room again. Anything but that godforsaken movie.”  


“Fine, but you’re gonna have to set it up, ‘cause I’m not doing it.”  


Vinny sighed, grabbing the top of the couch to stabilize himself as he got up.  
~ ~ ~  


Near thirty or so minutes had passed, and once more Mike was incredibly far from sober. He had convinced a reluctant Vinny into letting him get absolutely trashed for the second time in the night, saying that ‘he didn’t have anything important to do tomorrow anyway’.  


And so both of them sat there, making stupid jokes in response to just about everything that happened throughout the movie, and laughing far too hard at them. At some point their interest in the film started to wane, the jokes morphing into their own conversations.  


After their rambling had lulled for a few moments, Mike turned to the other man, as if he was about to speak. Vinny looked back at him expectantly, but as he did Mike suddenly gripped his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss.  


The action didn’t quite process in Vinny’s mind for a moment, and just as he felt himself start to sink into what was happening, he snapped into reality again, and pried Mike off of him.  


“The fuck, Mike?” He exclaimed, more confused than angry.  


“Man, y’know, I was thinking about how you said that you hadn’t gotten laid in nearly a month a couple minutes ago and, like, I decided that I may as well go in for the kill…” Mike began to trail off, seemingly deciding whether or not he should keep talking, but he quickly resumed, smiling once more, “and let’s be honest, Vin, when do you think the next time you’re gonna have sex is?”  


Vinny, shock having worn off as he listened to the excuse for reasoning from Mike, replied, “You do realize how bad you are at this, right? Trying to insult me isn’t going to help you in your weird seduction plot, Mike.” He chuckled as he spoke.  


“Okay, well maybe I just kinda sorta want to bang you, is that so much to ask?” He threw his arms up, the sincerity in his voice even unnerving himself.  


Once again at a loss for words, Vinny went silent. There was no way in hell he was going to actually do that. Having sex with Mike was in no way a priority for him, and besides, he wasn’t gay, so what would there even be for Vinny to gain?  


“Nah, man, I’m not going to fuck you.” He hoped the brevity of his words was enough to get Mike to drop this whole thing, and not make him actually think about doing it.  


“Oh come on, you know it’d be fun. Or, at least enjoyable.” Mike said, trying to bounce back from the seriousness of his previous words.  


He sat in silence. Vinny knew he was too fucking close to actually considering this, and at some point, he just gave up. Not quite caring anymore, he contemplated what he was doing, wondering if he should really go through with this if for nothing more than the happiness of his piss-drunk friend.  


Suddenly becoming aware of the movie playing not more than five feet in front of him, Vinny raised his hand to his face, shaking his head as he laughed, realizing the absurdity of the situation.  


Mike must have seen some sign of consideration in Vinny’s face, as he soon spoke up, saying, “Honestly, how bad could it be?”  


“I guess that depends on what ‘banging me’ entails, because the last thing I’m willing to do is have you stick your cock in my ass.”  


“Fair enough. I’d be down to ride you, but… well, I don’t know.”  


Vinny resented the fact that Mike’s offer made his face heat up, and tried to take his mind off it.  


“You don’t know? You’re the reason this is happening in the first place, Mike.” He rolled his eyes, trying and mostly failing to create some sort of resignation in his voice.  


“So, is that a yes?”  


“Whatever. Can we at least not do this on the couch while listening to Tommy Wiseau? ‘Cause I’ve got to say that isn’t exactly the hottest thing ever.”  


Mike replied with a smirk, reaching for the remote, “You say that like you don’t jack off to Tommy Wiseau every day of your life.”  


The tv shut off with a click, and Mike reached for Vinny’s hand, giggling like a teenage girl as he pulled the two of them towards the bedroom.  
~ ~ ~  


Vinny was sat upon his bed, waiting. He wasn’t quite anxious, but he couldn’t exactly pin down what he was feeling either. Mike had disappeared into the bathroom for what he said would only be a few seconds, but felt like an hour.  


He reentered the room, and was greeted by Vinny asking, “Dude, how hard is getting lube? You were gone way too long.”  


“I take it you’re excited?” Mike quipped as he set down the bottle on the bedside table.  


“No, it’s just th- oh whatever.” Vinny replied. A couple of seconds passed before he realized that Mike wasn’t doing anything and continued on talking, “Anyway, how are we supposed to start this? I really don’t want this to be any more awkward than it has to be.”  


Mike began to get on the bed, motioning for Vinny to move over. “You’ve got to calm down, dude. You’re weirdly stressed out, it’s not like you’re a virgin or anything. Or at least I’m assuming you aren’t.”  


Vinny gave him a quick glare in response, and Mike shrugged.  


Once on top of the bed, he straddled the other’s lap, and made himself just about as comfortable as possible in his current situation. And then for the second time that night, Mike leaned in and let his lips meet Vinny’s.  


After their initial kiss, the two pulled apart for only a moment before they met yet again, deepening the kiss this time. It seemed that all of the previous weirdness surrounding what they were doing faded into the background when those first few moments had passed, and so they carried on, a new sense of something like eagerness surrounding them. For a while they stayed like that, slowly making out, just sort of getting themselves used to the unfamiliarity of stubble on stubble, not unwelcome, but strange nevertheless.  


Surprisingly enough, Vinny was the first one to make another move, reaching his arms up, snaking one around Mike’s torso, the other moving more towards the bottom of his shirt. He lifted the fabric up, feeling the skin underneath. Mike followed, and soon in between kisses Vinny motioned for Mike to take off his shirt, removing his own quickly after.  


Now feeling decently confident, Vinny moved away from Mike’s mouth, repositioning himself slightly so he didn’t have to contort painfully to reach his friend’s collarbone. And then suddenly he began to bite at his neck, kissing and sucking as he did. He heard Mike sharply breathe in from above him, and took that as a good sign. He began to get a bit more intense, and Mike responded by bucking his hips slightly into Vinny.  


Mike pulled Vinny back up, face flushed, and settled his head into the crook of the other man’s neck, deciding at this point to go all out on thrusting onto him, feeling Vinny get progressively harder. A moan escaped Vinny’s lips as he struggled to get all the friction he possibly could through their jeans. The two continued on with what was essentially dry-humping, small breathy gasps filling the air, until Mike, head still buried on top of Vinny, muttered a low “fuck me” through gritted teeth.  


Vinny snapped back into reality, face heating to an almost impossible point, and let his thrusts gradually slow down. “Seriously?”  


“I did say I wanted to, didn’t I?”  


Vinny muttered a sound of agreement, as Mike began to move back, trying to retain some semblance of the mood in the room as he pulled off his pants and boxers. He failed, and giggled, now starting back towards the other, who had already taken care of the rest of his clothing, returning his grin.  


Mike was hardly aware of the fact that he was staring at Vinny’s dick, smirking more than he probably should have been. His internal gloating was stopped as Vinny began to speak.  


“So, do you want me to like, finger you, or should you handle that?” he asked.  


“Yeah, I don’t trust you to not punch me in the colon or… something to that effect.” He grabbed the lube from the bedside table, and coated his fingers liberally.  


“You trust me enough to fuck you, but fingering you is too much?”  


“Exactly.” He pushed a single finger inside of him.  


Vinny’s eyes rolled seeing the self-satisfaction on his friend’s face. “Besides, how do you know you’re not gonna fuck this up any more than I would?”  


“Do I look like someone that’s never had anything in his ass before?”  


Vinny tilted his head, showing an expression of consideration.  


Mike gave a slight grunt of pleasure as he worked his two fingers into himself, and they both went quiet.  


Not quite knowing what to do and still achingly hard, Vinny leaned back on the headboard of the bed, and let his hand drift down to his cock. Watching the blissed-out expression on Mike’s face as he fucked himself down on his hand definitely wasn’t helping his erection, and in time he had to slow down his strokes in an attempt to try and pace himself.  


In just a short while Mike had evidently also realized that getting carried away wouldn’t be such a good idea, and pulled his fingers out, wiping the excess lube off onto the sheets and grabbing the bottle once again to give to Vinny.  


Vinny grimaced, but poured it onto his hand. A couple of seconds later he was ready, and motioned for Mike to move up from his position on Vinny’s calves.  


He did, and soon, propped up on Vinny’s lap, started talking. “Only move when I tell you to, okay? I’m not looking to get the inside of my ass bruised.”  


“Yeah, I got it. Anything else you want, princess?”  


“No, but you can call me princess if you want~” Mike answered with an overly-exaggerated wink, and began to line himself up with Vinny’s cock.  


The sarcastic scowl on Vinny’s face disappeared in an instant as Mike began to push himself down onto the other’s dick. He went slowly at first, noticing Vinny biting his lip, looking at the scene in front of him. Growing impatient and ready for Vinny to just fuck him already, he went down a bit more forcefully, and in an instant had taken all of Vinny.  


Vinny’s eyes widened as Mike gasped loudly, and settled himself on the prominent bones of Vinny’s hips. In the few moments before his friend began to start moving, Vinny was faced with the realization of just how fucking hard he was at this point, almost embarrassingly so. He wanted to tell himself that it was only a result of the fact that he was fucking someone, or the unfamiliarity of the situation, that it didn’t matter who it was. That wasn’t the truth, and both of them knew it.  


Obviously, though, it wasn’t quite the time for introspection, and Vinny was reminded of this as Mike’s voice broke the silence in the room.  


“You should move now, Vinny…” His voice was breathy in anticipation, and he shifted down onto the other man.  


Honestly, at that point, he wanted to thrust into Mike with all possible force, but sensed that it may not have been the best choice. He wasn’t sure how it worked in comparison to fucking a girl, being “straight”, and so he settled for only moving his hips into him slightly.  


Even the faint stimulation made Mike feel fucking great, but he wanted more.  


He sensed the fact that Vinny was holding back. “Come on, Vin, go harder.”  


“You sure?”  


Vinny was so fucking sweet, Mike felt like he was about to have an aneurysm. His reply was coupled with a smirk. “Yeah dude, of course. Now fuck me, for god’s sake.”  


“You’re ruining the mood.”  


Mike’s response came in the form of him snapping his hips down onto Vinny.  


Once again focused on the task at hand, Vinny began to pound into Mike, going slow, despite the previous conversation. At this point, he had waited for far too long to actually get to fuck him, and needless to say, was already decently close. He didn’t want this to end just yet, though.  


Seemingly satisfied by the fact that Vinny was actually moving, Mike fidgeted for a second, distracted by Vinny’s movements, before wrapping his arms over Vinny’s neck in something that was just almost an embrace. They didn’t stay there for long, as Vinny soon picked up his pace, letting the low burn of arousal in his stomach guide the speed of his thrusts. In turn, Mike raked his arms down his back, doing everything he could to somehow get them closer together.  


If Vinny had thought his friend had looked amazing fingering himself, he didn’t know what to feel now. In just that short amount of time Mike had thrown his head forward in pleasure, pushing his hips back towards Vinny, who concentrated himself on the way Mike’s back arched, his actions fluid as he moved.  


The momentum of the two continued in a steady incline, until they were both rutting against each other with reckless abandon.  


Mike let small whines escape his lips, still trying to maintain a sort of dominance over Vinny, in spite of everything, proving to be a more difficult task than expected. Deftly, he lifted himself almost completely off of the other from his current, nearing-hunched-over position, before pushing back down with all his strength. It seemed strange to him how quiet Vinny was, there was no absence of moans from him, but somehow he had expected him to be more talkative. Maybe he was thinking too far into this. Mike couldn’t tell, he was pretty preoccupied at the moment, and soon it was put to the back of his mind.  


In an instant, as Vinny bucked back into Mike, the man let out a broken whimper, eyes shooting back open. “Holy fuck… do that again, Vin.”  


Vinny wasn’t one to argue, and soon Mike was crying out, prostate being hit every time. He took a sharp hold of Mike’s hips, using them to get more leverage on him, a litany of curses falling from his mouth. His hands pressed hard enough to leave indents on the skin, which only served to arouse Mike more, keening in reply.  


The room filled with the labored breathes and moans from the two, and Vinny, realizing the thick silence enveloping the room, began to murmur to Mike, low but passionate nonetheless. “God, look at you,” He knew how sappy he was coming off, but he was close, and he was incredibly turned on, and in no way cared at that moment. “You’re so fucking tight, I swear…” He trailed off quickly.  


Spurred on by his comments, Mike readjusted himself to a point where he could reach his previously neglected cock. He pumped himself quickly, allowing himself to relax back onto Vinny’s folded knees, finally conceding his odd amount of pride.  


Vinny took advantage of the new opportunity by tightening his previous hold on Mike’s hips and pounding him down continuously.  


The cries from the two grew louder as they got closer and closer. Overstimulated and leaking precum, Mike stroked his cock, begging for release, and for Vinny to fuck him faster, harder. He pulled a fist up to his mouth to muffle his whines, not exceptionally proud of himself, but Vinny soon interjected.  


“Aww, come on, baby, let me hear you.”  


Mike scoffed at the pet name, in spite of how pathetically hard it made him. Regardless, he obliged, and Vinny gave a smile in return.  


His movements sped up as he teetered on the edge of climax. Soon, he was pistoning his hips at a break-neck speed, hitting orgasm. His voice went from near screams to soundless whines as he came over his stomach, Vinny continuing to fuck him all the while as he came down gradually.  


Not wanting to cum into Mike, Vinny signaled for him to lift himself off his lap, and pulled out, cock twitching at the subdued moan Mike gave as he did.  


Once out, Vinny grabbed his dick and started what was, virtually, fucking his hand, making quick work of himself. Not even a minute passed before he was thrusting erratically as he came.  


In his post-coital state of sorts, Vinny wondered if they should just sleep like this. He had just fucked one of his best friends, could it honestly get any weirder? Still, leaning back into the headboard, he asked, “What exactly do we do now? I don’t know if you should be driving tonight, and sleeping on the couch would just be kinda awkward…”  


“Are you implying that you want to spoon me?” Mike sneered at Vinny from his spot near the back end of the bed.  


“I still have some self-respect, so I’m gonna have to say no to that one.”  


“I see how it is,” He pouted. “Can I still, like, sleep in the bed anyway?”  


“That’s what I was getting at. You should probably at least put on your underwear though.”  
~ ~ ~  


The room was dark, and quiet. Vinny assumed Mike was asleep, but was proved wrong as his voice echoed throughout the space.  


“No homo, right?” His attempt to keep a straight tone as he talked failed miserably.  


“Fuck you.”


End file.
